You Can Survive a Move with Kids!

Moving is a major life event for adults, so you can imagine how disruptive it can be for kids. Even the most sociable, easy-going kids will worry about attending new schools and making new friends. If they don’t have the opportunity or are too young to verbalize these concerns, they’ll become sad and anxious. Most kids are resilient, and they will get through this; but they need lots of time and special attention, along with an abundance of patience.

In some cases, moving is a family decision. Maybe you’re building a home or moving to a larger home in the same neighborhood. Or, perhaps you’re moving to a neighborhood that is better suited to the needs of your family. Sometimes the decision to move is based on a job transfer or financial issues. Even if you’re unhappy about the move, try to maintain a positive attitude when talking to your children. Be the adult in the room.

Below are a few guidelines to help you give your children an easier, less stressful moving experience. You know your child better than anyone; the suggestions that follow are just that…suggestions. As for you, there is no way to keep this stress free; well, maybe lots of wine and a long vacation in the tropics when this is over!

Discuss the Move With Your Kids

The most important way to prepare kids for the move is to talk about it with them. Don’t talk at them; talk with them. Let them know that you’re interested in their opinions and feelings, and answer questions thoroughly and truthfully. Even if the move means an improvement in family circumstances, kids don’t perceive this through the same lens as adults. Some will focus only on what to them are the frightening, negative aspects of change.

Involve Them as Much as Possible

Make them feel like participants in the process. If they are old enough, involve them in the house-hunting, and take them to explore the new neighborhood. If this is a distant or out-of-state move, try to make at least one trip with them so that they can calm their fears and visualize themselves in the new area. Make this an adventure. Ask them questions, and, when possible, give them simple choices. For example, ask which bedroom they prefer (other than the master suite, which they will surely covet) and what color to paint the walls in their room.

Age Matters

Moving with Toddlers and Preschoolers

It is assumed that kids under six can be easier to move than school age or teenage kids. It really depends on the child’s personality.  Most kids this age have a limited capacity for understanding, but, as stated earlier, you know your child better than anyone. These suggestions are meant purely as guidance.

Moving with School-Age Kids

Moving with Teens

Keep in mind that most kids are resilient, and before long they’ll be sharing information (maybe too much) about their new friends, new activities, and new teachers. A positive, encouraging, and caring outlook on your part will go a long way in giving your kids the security they need to navigate this change and maybe even enjoy it.

Be on the lookout for more helpful information in our next “Make Moving Bearable” installment and catch up on our previous moving articles to help your next move go as smooth as possible.

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Taylor Johnson